What a great start to my holidays.
I'm sick.
Aftermath of all the intensive mugging.
Sob sob...
Luckily "he" was there for me.
Lost my voice, couldn't speak.
Yet "he" understands me perfectly.
Hugged me while I slept.
"His" presence's so comforting.
Gonna meet "him" tomorrow after "his" last paper.
Can't wait to see "him" again.
hey ya,
today's the last day i'll be spending in new zealand, the land of the long white clouds, lots of sheeps, and cows, and deers and nature and lots of wonderful memories.. ") taking a flight tmr back to spore via a stopover in sydney for 2 nights..
for the past two weeks, i've been traveling ard the top of the south island with 2 germans, michael and anke, went on a 5 days trek on queen chalotte track which is about 80 km in total.. reb suggested that as she had been there before, but it was rainy the first day we're there, so was the next few days of trekking was jus muddy and slippery, nearly twisted my ankle on the 2nd day, but luckily only a little swollen, still can continue the trek... but on the 5th day, the rain was too much la, and there was an earthquake somewhere the night before, felt the vibration when i slept.. was also lazy liao la, so me and michael took the ferry back to picton, while anke, michael's classmate back in germany, strong gal, continue the trek with some other ladies.. hee..
then we went to golden bay which has beaches that looks like paradise.. it's nice, warm and sunny there.. and we even collected mussels to take home to cook.. the rule there is that you can only collect mussels 8 cm wide or longer.. it's quite fun.. hee...
then a long drive via hanmer springs and then back to christchurch where i had been staying since.. meeting some friends that i have known since i came to NZ and jus hanging out ard christchurch.. hee..
will be back soon..
miss ya all.. muack muack!!!
Luv,
Clarissa
PS: good luck and all the best to all of ya having your exams.. ")
LIBRA AND LIBRA COMPATIBILITY
With another Libra, you share numerous experiences, many of them beautiful. There's lots of laughter, much art and light, but not too much staying power. This relationship is good for fun and games, but where settling down is concerned, there are apt to be problems. You come down from the clouds to face everyday realities and the relationship undergoes a marked change. It can work, but it requires wisdom and maturity. The Libra woman takes marriage seriously. She takes a relationship seriously. She is not apt to be promiscuous. She wants beauty and considers you a beautiful person. You can easily hurt her. She has character. You will have to be considerate or you will lose her. You will have to be kind or you will disillusion her. If you succeed in winning her, you will have won for yourself an opportunity for peace, contentment and love.
The Libra man is sensitive, so much so that he can make you a nervous wreck. Please him but don't baby him. He wants to be manly, Praise and flatter him, especially along sexual lines. He is considered to be delicate, but he is lusty enough to fulfill your needs if you love him. To keep him, you will have to be aware of your appearance. He notices bulges in the wrong places! He may deny it, but he loves being told how handsome he is, how talented, how loving, how exciting. He's fragile, but worth the trouble.You might think you would make a good match with another Libra, but it doesn't usually work out that way. You will be very happy in the romance department, because both of you love kissing (and you're good at it) and you both love doing little romantic things for each other. Unfortunately, two Libras almost always get bored of each other after a while. Libras, both boys to and girls, need a love partner who's a little bit different than them, someone who has qualities to complement and balance theirs. You are probably too much alike to last long. Not the greatest match.
When Libra girl gets together with Libra boy, things can be completely fabulous. It's when things aren't going so well that you have to put your egos aside and listen to each other, even if you don't like what the other person is saying. Agree respect each other and you'll exist in bliss!
Since I'm already online, here helping Ling to upload her video, I might as well blog.
Here goes my blog of the day:
)#@$)@#*$)@#%)@%)@U$)!#U)$U#%)@$)%)#@$*(#@*%@)#$*@
Haa.... Gone crazy from studying EE3001.
Damn the lecturers.
Better not let me see them driving their respective cars.
I will leave them my infamous mark on their vehicle.
Hubby have played it numerous time. Suddenly addicted to this song after he stop playing, it just stuck in my head. Oh its his friends as well... ^_^
Oh my, just came back from Hubby's place. He's sick, the feeling that I have is weird, as if I'm sick also. Quite worried about him as he is doing morning shift, he is already collapsing but still don't wanna go to bed as I'm around. At least, I manage to force him in bed before I leave, manage to help him to cover blanket too ^_^.
Met Hubby yesterday as well, he went to do his tattoo. I think its his tattoo that made him sick, as he is very cold yesterday. I was like holding an ice cube in hand when I hold his. Anyway, its ok for him to get sick, cause his baby is here mahz. Its only he allow anot.
I finish my major operationg as well, have the crown implanted into my 2 teeth. Next month need to do some filling and in January, I'll need to go for wisdom tooth operation and will be away for 1 week MC!! Yeah!!
Actually, yesterday I realise something, I'm really a think too much person and had decided to change mindset from yesterday onwards. All along, I thought Hubby mind me going clubbing cause his voice or expression don't really please me when I told him I'm going or finish clubbing. Think its cause I'm abit high that's why it displease him. Nontheless, we manage to clear the air at least on my side, we can club all we want but no intoxication, promise on both side. ^_^
Tommorrow is my daddy's big day, Mr Boonie... getting married at Calrton Hotel. Red packet to give, 80 bucks. Lucky I have most of the single at my table, if not I will force Hubby to go even if he is having fever, and I'll buy him what ever suite that is nice.
Will be meeting Julie first as she agree to accompany me to Sim Lim to look for the tape cleaner, its actually meant for Hubby cause today we are trying to view some tapes from Nepal, but the tape cannot be played. ARGH, I'm going to find that cleaner out and going to have the machine ia thorough cleaning.
Gonna sleep now, *pray pray* Hubby to get well soon, his baby here is very worried at this end here. Oh, and I hope he wont be angry about me as I refuse to let him send me out even to the door step. I just don't want you to catch a cold dear. Revitalise for the pretty me tomorrow!!
Lazy to type out.
Here is the email from Cla:
Hey ya,
Kia ora..
jus a mail to say that i've finish my exams!!! yeah!!!
lots of exciting happening in my life here and lots of life changing incidents.. so lots of changes in my travel plans too..
i'll be back early on the 1 dec and would be leaving for thailand on the 7 dec for an archeology excavation called "the angkor project"..hee... a real archeology that i managed to secure here.. it's amazing that i managed to get the prof to allow me on the project... it's a major one in arch and everyone here is surprised that i could get on it.. one major life changing experience,... it may be a possible carrer path if i did well.. oh my!! it' like wow!!
and i may be rather uncontactable these days coz i'll be starting my travelling from tmr.. on the 11 and 12 nov, i'll be going to queenstown for a trip with my spore friend, foong yee and some kiwi adult friends, ivan and diane.. and i'll be leaving dunedin, which is where i'm staying and travelling with micheal and his german childhood friend Anke from the 13 til the 29.. where i'll be leaving christchurch to sydney, and would be transitting in sydney so staying there for 2 nights and a day and i'll be back in spore on the 1 dec... yeah!!!
i'll try to get on the internet when i'm travelling and excited abt coming home.. and the trip to thailand for the archeology excavation, my life long dream fulfilled and meet many real archeologist here who show me wat i could possibly be doing and ways to fulfill my passion...
see ya all soon..
hugs,
clarissa
Bitching headache.
Damn all the electromagnetic formulas.
Torturing my pathetic electron-size brain.
Not in a good mood.
Coupled with the fact that "he" has probably forgotten "his" promise.
Never promise me what you'll do when you didn't do it in the end.
Recently, have seen alot of reflection on so many people. Can't comment much here, you know this is the negative thing about blog. If your blog is too popular you have to restrict your flow. Sis Yu how come your leg is pain you never inform me? I'll try to crack your bone to make you feel better. ^_^ just kidding relax relax ok, if he is worth it just have the humble pie, nothing to lose what. You know what I mean don't make me preach on you again. heez.
Today's the first day of my Nepali lesson, nothing to do at home while waiting for Sis Yu, went online to read about Nepali. All I can remember now is only Ma and Timi. OMG, I'm just so bad at it man. Saturday will have crush course with Hubby. Ho Ho Uhi will teach ma Nepali and ma will teach uhi Chinese.
Crab!! More cheerful now, thank god that Hubby never forsake me. As for now, everything is back to normal. Tomorrow have a long day to go, stayback with my GF to do overtime. Its much more nicer to work without everyone, no pressure, no calls, no broken instructions. ^_^
Today Hubby did a very sweet thing. He volunteer to accompany me to the dentist. Yeah GF can take off le, no need to accompany every week. Its his off day, and instead of resting at home , he wants to follow me the dental. So sweet right ^_^ ``
Alright la nothing to write, have to go ma timi uhi. tataz...
Just came back home from dinner with Ling.
Having difficulty walking.
Left kneecap hurts like !@#$
Bloody painful.
Will blog more tomorrow.
When the hurt subsides.
Here I'm suffocating
All I need is to breathe
I am smothered under pressure
Relief is what I seek
What i do is never right
What they say is never fair
I cry and scream
and throw a fit
But no one ever seem to care
None will listen to what i say
Makes me doubt my existence
My life is not of any importance
Yet I'm living everyday
I can't do what i want
Nor express how I feel
I can't justify my acts
But only through a poem of pain and hate
I'm confused and alone
I'm lost inside my mind
Not one has searched beyond my looks
to see what they may find
Confusing thoughts
Mixed up feelings
Rendered me lost
I need to leave
For none makes sense
Who understands how I feel
for I'm still suffocating
Struggling to breathe
I'm smothered under feelings
Under injustice
All I desire is
Just let me BE
Never say I love you
If you don't really care
Never talk of feelings
If they aren't really there
Never hold my hand
If you mean to break my heart
Never say forever
If you ever plan to part
Never look into my eyes
If you are telling me a lie
Never say hello
If you think you'll say goodbye
Never say that I'm THE one
If you dream of more than me
Never lock up my heart
If you don't have the key
Finally calming down, have think alot last night and this afternoon, alot of brain cell have sacrifice bravely in the process. ^_^ I salute you brain cell.
Yesterday have a talk with Hubby and he have picture me the future we are having. Its very gray, very very gray. Brokedown yesterday as I feel very injustify and unfair that I need to give up this relationship not even trying. Its not the elements of giving and taking, its about the environment, the culture.
Have spoken to mummy about it, I'm very surprise that she support me. She ask me the very question that my sister ask me also. "You know yourself what is best for you. If you really love Rohit then just go with him lor. Its very hard on you but you will survive cause Rohit is behind you." Alright I'm not amaze that Sister Yu said that, but the fact that my mom can see the picture so rationally. Apparently, My dad and her came hard as well. That's why she understand how I feel, I also need to know what Hubby really wants. If both of us are hard to part maybe we can try.
Seriously, this I have left out I forgotten to tell Hubby, as long as you are with me I can take anything, even if they treat me like shit I also don't mind. How long I can take it? If you are there for me, I can take it as long as I live. I have this feeling, I'm very optimistic about it. I want to please Hubby's Mum, she haven't even see me so she cannot fail me. Hope she gives me the chance to perform.
This is the first time I'm so scare of losing something. This is really the first time, something caught me so off guard. Hubby, I hope you are with me. I'm really determine on it. No matter how rough or how gray the future it is I'm with you as I need you and really see you in my life. Unless, you don't me, there wont be a time I dont want you. I hope you don't see it as stubborn, I'm unwilling to let go if I haven't even try. You told me we could work it out and you do not want to give up also. ^_^ so we have to really walk hand in hand, I'm very very happy that you are willing to share the burden with me and let me cry with you and really show me the way we are heading. You are very important to me that's why I'm willing to go through all these. You can't judge the "you" that's in my heart, only I know who he really is in my heart, and cause he is worth it that's why I'm so determine to break through the obstacle. I wont let you face it alone, I hope you give me a chance to face it with you.
Hmm first step now, need to go pick up the language to impress my mom in law... ^_^
Realise that I can still blog, as Hubby can understand my feelings from here. Here is only the place for me to put my feelings and not for others to read and judge my feelings, friends and close one.
Yesterday, have a scary night. Didn't sleep cause of the headach, trying to play audition to waive off the feelings. It did not go, going to sleep after this entry. Now I'm scare of everyday, I hope my everyday don't come. I don't want to be nearer to the day, I don't want to see the future. The future is so ugly, I hate future. I don't want to foresee and realise. I want to be blind forever, I want to be ignorant.
I'm afraid to live on, i afraid of everything now. You can scold me a scardy cat, but I'm really scare of tomorrow. Don't teach me how to live on, as I dun want to face tomorrow. Future is a horrible creature. I hate you.
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